Tom took me to dinner the other night at Ichiban. We sat next to the sweetest family celebrating their little boy’s birthday.

This is what I wore:

Leopard top - F21
Black Tank - Target
Leggings - F21
Boots - Steve Madden

Right now I’m sitting on the couch, sick, watching Gossip Girls and eating homemade chocolate chip cookies. Other than the being sick part, it’s a pretty covetable evening if I might say so. Can’t wait to get better…

- Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats, Cats - The Musical

My little baby kittens are getting so big!  It seems like everyday they’re another inch taller and jumping on things that are just a little bit higher.  Meeksa and Skilo are still so adorable and entertaining, though.  I love them to pieces.

This is why we call him “Dog” in Greek.

Nap time.  They’re always intertwined when they sleep.

Sweet little cuddle bugs.

Our little hunters have been doing their duty and catching all the vermin around the house and in the yard.  However, it breaks my heart when they bring home innocent little chipmunks that are almost as big as they are.  I can’t let them see my displeasure, though… so I have to praise them and tell them what good little hunters they are and hope that they take the chipmunk off the doorstep and bury it somewhere else so I don’t have to see it everytime I open the door. 

- C.S. Lewis

It seems like each day gets a little harder for us. One would expect that accepting the truth would get easier with each passing day. For me, now, though, it seems that each passing day only serves to remind me that I have one less day to try for what I want.

However, in the midst of all of this darkness that has so quickly seemed to drench my life, the rays of light piercing through it get brighter and brighter.

Yesterday was yet another hard day. I began taking Progesterone last Friday and needless to say, it’s felt like I’ve had raging PMS every second of every day since I took the first pill. Work left me feeling like I wanted every other human in existence to by cryogenically frozen until this week passed so they wouldn’t irritate me anymore.

So, I get home from work and on the doorstep is a little package. As soon as I looked at the sender on the box, I burst into tears. I hadn’t even unlocked the door yet.

Alice, the most wonderful, sweetest, most compassionate, never-met friend I’ve ever had, sent me the greatest little box of goodies. After I opened it, I called my mom, still crying, and she started crying, too. Thank you, Alice, for making me smile when smiles are few and far between lately. ((Be expecting a little something in return soon))

This adorable little asparagus notepad… I love it! It will be perfect to keep in my purse and keep tabs on my to-do’s…

A happy little keychain that will make me smile every time I see it…

Some sweet and comforting soap from Dustpan Alley…

And now for my most favorite treasure of all… a crocheted handbag sweetly created by Alice herself…

I’ve admired her handbags for quite some time now and finally, I have one all to myself.

Thanks again, Alice. I promise, that I will do the same for someone else someday.. and soon. Kindness and compassion surely are contagious.

- Mimi Pond

Aldo finally got their site up and running.  So here are the boots I bought yestesrday:
Frigane

These are slightly darker than mine.  I bought the Cognac colored ones.  I’m in love with them. 

Next week, as a celebration for my brother and sister-in-law moving here, I will be purchasing these:
Frohaid

It took a lot of self-control not to kick things with these boots on in the store.  I felt like Lara Croft: Tomb Raider in them. 

I’ve always patronized my mother for having an obsession with boots.  This is the first time that it’s plagued me… this boot fanaticism.  I’ve realized that I can literally wear these with EVERYTHING. 

So tomorrow after work Tom and I leave for Philadelphia to help pack up Ryen and Lindi and get their butts here in Pittsburgh.  I’m ecstatic at the thought of having them near me.  We will drive out there tomorrow and turn right around and come back basically.  That’s okay, though, because they’ll be here for good now and I won’t just have to wait until holidays to see them. 

And this is a typical picture of Ryen and Lindi.  Lindi looking all cute and adorable and sweet… and Ryen trying his hardest to make himself look like a complete ass.  But that’s what makes them so lovable.  In this pic, though, you can see on Lindi’s face that she’s about to slap him in the back of the head.

Another fabulous picture of my oh-so-fun sister-in-law..

I’m not entirely sure what Lindi is doing here.  Both of these pictures were taken downtown Pittsburgh at Station Square.  I’m thinking that maybe she was dancing to the water and light show that was going on behind us in the fountain…??  Never a dull moment…

Now if I can just get my other brother and sister-in-law up here, the family would be complete once again.  And hopefully Ryen and Lindi don’t kill me for posting these pictures.

-Eleanor Roosevelt

Illustration by Me.

Those of you who are close to me already know what’s going on in my life.  The past few months have been difficult.  I’m finally getting answers and now, I want to write everything down.  Release my frustration, my sadness, and the hope that I’m still holding onto. 

My husband, Tom, and I have been trying to conceive since we were married on February 16, 2008.  The first few months of failed attempts were to be expected.  “It takes at least a year for most to conceive the first time,” everyone kept telling us.  ‘Okay,’ I’d tell myself and the next month, when my cycle came, another little piece of me, of my hope was chipped away. 

Finally, in June, my cycle was 3 weeks late.  The home tests were negative, but that was neither here nor there because my mother had to take 3 blood tests before she showed positive of being pregnant with me.  I scheduled a Dr. appt, had more tests done… all negative.  We were told to wait two more weeks, then take another test.  Two days before the two weeks were up my cycle came. 

The part of my hope that came off that month was bigger than before.  I cried for days.  I wondered every night while I tried to fall asleep what was wrong with me.  Everyone told me, “You’re just psyching yourself out, Don’t think about it so much, Stop worrying”… over and over until I wanted to slap everyone that even mentioned my lack of pregnancy having to do with my mental state. 

After that cycle, the day for my next one to come came and went… no period.  I waited 4 weeks this time, still no period.  Two months had passed since my last period when I began to bleed.  It’s been a month and the bleeding continues.  I had enough last week.  I knew something was wrong and it wasn’t in my head.  I requested a sonogram and blood tests from the Dr. with hopes of figuring out what was going on.  A week past and no one called with my test results, so I called them myself.  I got the response that no person really ever wants to hear when asking for test results, “You’ll need to come and speak with Dr. Labella.  She will review your test results with you.  Do you know what PCOS is?”  “No.”  “The Dr. will go over it with you.”

I hung up the phone and began sobbing.  I knew it.  I knew there is something wrong with me and everyone just kept discounting my fears.  I immediately called my mom (I was driving home from work) and she googled PCOS.

My diagnosis is Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome.  Each of my ovaries are completely full of tiny cysts.  As a result, I can’t ovulate.  No wonder we’ve had all these failed attempts.  When I got home I sunk into this abyss of realization and self-pity.  I cried for hours.  I felt useless.  I felt as if my entire existence was without purpose.  If I can’t have children, what good is it being a woman?  I had been trying to come to terms with this idea for the past 7 months… just in case I found out I couldn’t have kids I wanted to make sure I would be okay with it.  I had convinced myself I would, until I heard it for real.  I wasn’t okay.  I want to have children more than anything in the world, to raise a family with my husband, the love of my life, and pass on all the things that my parents taught me. 

I went to see the Dr. 4 days later.  In those four days I really came to resent the med assistant for telling me what it was without any explaination.  Dr. Labella was very optimistic.  She gave me 2 options… to begin taking fertility drugs or to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist for further testing.  The drugs will stimulate ovulation.  Simple as that.  However, there is no cure for PCOS.  There are only treatments to manage it.  We’re still deciding on the best course of action, but I’m so glad to finally have an answer and to be able to move forward. 

So, on top of that, my father-in-law was in the hospital for 3 days last week, my husband had to be rushed to the Dr. with chest pains and difficulty breathing, and I had my wisdom teeth pulled.  It’s just overall been a really really awful few weeks.  I’m hoping that this week to come holds more joy.  It’s been hard to get out of bed and face the day ahead of me.  Tom is wonderful and has been beside me for every step of this.  And if none of this is successful, I will still have the most wonderful life with him, kids or no kids.  It’s just hard to hear that you aren’t perfect, ya know? 

- Andy Warhol

Photo:  by Me… Driftwood - Ohiopyle, PA.

I know I’m quoting Andy Warhol who happens to be one of the people on my least respected human list, but, not all things that come from any one person are negative.  As a result of personal things going on lately, I’ve been thinking alot about time… my time.  I’ve been considering the things I want to accomplish and why they aren’t happening for me.  I think that everyone experiences moments like this in their lifetime… everyone should, at least.  Everyone should come to a point in their life where they re-evaluate and re-direct themselves.  Well, I’m there.  Last night, as depressing as it was, I asked myself, “If I died next week, what things would I be sorry that I didn’t do?”  Then I got really sad from thinking all of that, picked up my sketchbook and doodled away with my new markers. 

It seems that drawing is an instant cure for all my emotional ailments.  Lately, I’ve had myself locked up in my studio with my sketchbook, pens and markers while watching the entire first (and only) season of Moonlight.  (I have an unhealthy obsession with vampires.) 

Speaking of change, though, I’ve decided to take this little blog of mine in a different direction.  There’s only one aspect of my life that I’ve been portraying here and it’s a completely unbalanced view of who I am.  Art is a huge part of me, but not everything.  Fashion is another love of mine.  Decorating, too.  But, I also love the outdoors… backpacking, snowboarding…  I love reading, I love the theater, I love cooking, and I love love love music.  Most of you probably don’t even know that I’ve been classicaly trained on the piano from the age of 7 or that I play the guitar and flute, too.  So, from this moment on, this blog isn’t just about my art.  It’s about me, all of me.  I’ll be doing some re-decorating here soon, as well, to more appropriately represent my style, my taste, my personality.  I’m going to start talking about everything that I love.

To start… I’ve gone a little Etsy crazy lately with ordering prints for my house.   Here are a few of the ones I have ordered so far:::

Waiting By The Sea - My Folk Lover

My Captain… We’ve Reached The End Of The World
Hidenseek

Both of these will be going in my bedroom.  For some reason I have a thing for girls with boats on their heads….!?  I honestly didn’t even realize I had done it until after I ordered them both.  Weird.

Anyway, off to work!  I hope everyone (in the States) had a wonderful holiday weekend.  I definitely did!

-Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Today marks 32 years of marriage for my parents.  The quote above totally embraces one of the biggest lessons that I’ve learned from my parents and their marriage.  You need to be a team.  I’ve seen so many relationship fall apart because 2 people can’t look in the same direction together.  They fight against each other like enemies fighting a war until they completely destroy every connection that their souls had.  It’s quite sad.  Mom and Dad, though, I’ve seen them make it through some really tough times, hand in hand, never faltering.  If one falls, the other bends down to help them up.  They never let go of each other’s hands  through anything and because of that, I’m able to have a wonderful relationship with my husband now.  They’ve taught my more through their love for each other than I could have ever learned any other way.  I’ve also learned that no marriage will ever last without a sense of humor.  If you spent one day with my family, you’d realize that our sense of humor is what we thrive on.  If you can’t laugh at yourself, you’ll never survive. 

So thanks,  Dad and Mom, for loving each other so much that it poured out all over us kids and sent us off into our own lives covered in what you guys worked so hard to bestow upon us.  All of us kids are better people because of you.  We will always love you as deeply and completely as you have loved us all of our lives. (Mom, try not to be too upset that I put that picture up there.  You look beautiful.)

- Leonardo Da Vinci

At long last the hummingbird is finished and in the hands of it’s rightful owners.  My new sister-in-law requested a hummingbird illustration in blue and green. 

Pat and Jen were in Ohiopyle this weekend with some friends, so Mom, Dad and Tom and I drove down to spend Sunday with them.  The newlyweds surprised us a few weeks ago with the news that they are expecting!!  I’m going to be an aunt!  I’m so thrilled for them.  All of their friends were going rafting, but because of Jen’s… uh.. condition, they decided to stay back and hang out with us.  We hiked along the river for a while and then drove up to Kentuck Knob. 

Kentuck Knob is another of Frank Lloyd Wright’s masterpieces tucked into the hills of Pennsylvania.  The home was built for the Hagen ice cream family.  Needless to say, the house is beautiful.  It’s much more of a liveable space than Falling Water is.  I took a ton of pictures that I will post later.  Here is one of all of us on an overlook beside the falls at Ohiopyle.  It had to be the most beautiful day ever.  The only thing missing is Lindi and Ryen.  Boo. 

said Abraham Lincoln

Friday night we added two new members to our family.

This is Meeksa. Meeksa means “little snot” in Greek. (I’ve spelled it as phonetically as I could because Greek isn’t exactly that easy to translate into english writing.) Meeksa definitely lives up to his name. He is for sure a little snot.

This is Skilo. (Pronounced Skee-Low.) Skilo means “Dog” in Greek. Skilo chews on my shoes, is scared of the vacuum and stares out the window of the car just like a dog. He is also a little rascal. We also think that Skilo was the runt of his litter. His legs are about an inch shorter than Meeksa’s, his tail is so short that it doesn’t touch the floor when he walks and his ears seem too tiny for his huge fluffy head.

The first day the spent at home with us they scaled our shower curtain, unrolled the entire roll of toilet paper in the bathroom and claimed every fabric surface in the house as their own personal jungle gym. Fortunately for us, they love their litter box. These two little angels are the best birthday gift! They are hours of endless entertainment and I’m so excited to watch them grow up into crazy little hunting cats.

-Mark Twain

Last night, my family decided to take my sister-in-law, Lindi, and me out for our birthdays.  They are still a few weeks away, but with them being in town, it seemed the perfect opportunity to party.

The evening began with The Melting Pot.  This was a first for me.  I’ve long been a devoted fan of fondue, but never made it a priority to go experience The Melting Pot.  It was incredible!  With 4 courses, 3 of them being different kinds of fondue, the evening left me stuffed, happy, and anxious to go home and try to mix my own cheddar cheese, beer, worcestershire sauce and garlic.

After we finished our amazing dinner we walked down to the river and watched the dancing water show for a while until the sun set and I was able to snap this amazing photo of this beautiful city that I live in.  Everytime I drive through the tunnels and they open up to downtown, it takes my breath away and I’m reminded of why I will never ever move from here again.