- C.S. Lewis

It seems like each day gets a little harder for us. One would expect that accepting the truth would get easier with each passing day. For me, now, though, it seems that each passing day only serves to remind me that I have one less day to try for what I want.

However, in the midst of all of this darkness that has so quickly seemed to drench my life, the rays of light piercing through it get brighter and brighter.

Yesterday was yet another hard day. I began taking Progesterone last Friday and needless to say, it’s felt like I’ve had raging PMS every second of every day since I took the first pill. Work left me feeling like I wanted every other human in existence to by cryogenically frozen until this week passed so they wouldn’t irritate me anymore.

So, I get home from work and on the doorstep is a little package. As soon as I looked at the sender on the box, I burst into tears. I hadn’t even unlocked the door yet.

Alice, the most wonderful, sweetest, most compassionate, never-met friend I’ve ever had, sent me the greatest little box of goodies. After I opened it, I called my mom, still crying, and she started crying, too. Thank you, Alice, for making me smile when smiles are few and far between lately. ((Be expecting a little something in return soon))

This adorable little asparagus notepad… I love it! It will be perfect to keep in my purse and keep tabs on my to-do’s…

A happy little keychain that will make me smile every time I see it…

Some sweet and comforting soap from Dustpan Alley…

And now for my most favorite treasure of all… a crocheted handbag sweetly created by Alice herself…

I’ve admired her handbags for quite some time now and finally, I have one all to myself.

Thanks again, Alice. I promise, that I will do the same for someone else someday.. and soon. Kindness and compassion surely are contagious.

- Mimi Pond

Aldo finally got their site up and running.  So here are the boots I bought yestesrday:
Frigane

These are slightly darker than mine.  I bought the Cognac colored ones.  I’m in love with them. 

Next week, as a celebration for my brother and sister-in-law moving here, I will be purchasing these:
Frohaid

It took a lot of self-control not to kick things with these boots on in the store.  I felt like Lara Croft: Tomb Raider in them. 

I’ve always patronized my mother for having an obsession with boots.  This is the first time that it’s plagued me… this boot fanaticism.  I’ve realized that I can literally wear these with EVERYTHING. 

So tomorrow after work Tom and I leave for Philadelphia to help pack up Ryen and Lindi and get their butts here in Pittsburgh.  I’m ecstatic at the thought of having them near me.  We will drive out there tomorrow and turn right around and come back basically.  That’s okay, though, because they’ll be here for good now and I won’t just have to wait until holidays to see them. 

And this is a typical picture of Ryen and Lindi.  Lindi looking all cute and adorable and sweet… and Ryen trying his hardest to make himself look like a complete ass.  But that’s what makes them so lovable.  In this pic, though, you can see on Lindi’s face that she’s about to slap him in the back of the head.

Another fabulous picture of my oh-so-fun sister-in-law..

I’m not entirely sure what Lindi is doing here.  Both of these pictures were taken downtown Pittsburgh at Station Square.  I’m thinking that maybe she was dancing to the water and light show that was going on behind us in the fountain…??  Never a dull moment…

Now if I can just get my other brother and sister-in-law up here, the family would be complete once again.  And hopefully Ryen and Lindi don’t kill me for posting these pictures.

-Bo Derek

Last night I forced myself through a session of retail-therapy.  This is a common remedy in my family for any emotional / physical ailment that might befall us.  After an extremely successful trip to Ross Park Mall, I logged onto forever21.com to order the items that I sadly couldn’t find in the store.

First and foremost, The Emily Pump: (and of course, as I go to add the link, there are no more in the on-line store.  So sorry, but I got the last pair!)

I initially saw these over at Creature Comforts and it was love at first sight.  Lucky me, they only had one size left and it was mine! 

*Update:  The shoes arrived and to my dismay, the heel is about an inch higher than I can manage to walk in.  They’re getting returned this weekend.  Drats.

The other thing I ordered was this adorable H81 Gingham Drawstring Hem Top

I have an ungodly obsession with plaids and flannels for the fall this year.  This is my first purchase of the two and it might just be my last.  I’m not entirely convinced that I can actually pull off the grunge-chic look that I’ve envisioned in my head. 

On top of all this I purchased a good amount of stuff at the mall that I will have to model for you because the images on the website just don’t do them justice… not that pictures of ME wearing them will be any better.

My favorite purchase of the evening were my boots from Aldo’s.  Which, of course, I’m going to have to model because their website seems to be very uncooperative at the moment. 

Shopping definitely makes me smile.  New shoes especially make me smile, but still in the back of my mind is that nagging reminder of everything that’s going on and when the high of finding my soul-mate in the form of a leather strappy flat boot fades, I realize I need another pair of boots.  Just kidding.  Honestly, though, it’s still hard.  I’m anxious for this trying time of my life to be over with and I know that’s horrible.  One should never wish away their life.  So for the moment, until this passes, I drown my sorrow in guilty pleasures such as boots, tunics, turquoise skinny pants, tv shows and most of all, art.  It’s most certainly wonderful to have this little sheltered world here to release all of my anguish in and know that it’s falling on sensitive ears (or eyes since you are reading) with warm hearts.  It really is amazing to find out that you have friends you’ve never met that can share in your pain and your joy. 

Anyway, thank you, all of you, for being there.  It means so much to me.

-Lebanese Proverb

I haven’t posted a recipe in quite some time now. I thought this would be a good recipe to pick it back up with. I learned this from my lebanese mother-in-law.

Lebanese Maccarun Mensytatoum
Translation - Gnocchis with Garlic Sauce

The dough is so very simple to make. It’s only 3 cups of flour and 1 cup of water, salt to taste. Mix the flour and water as much as you can. When it becomes too gooey to stir, dig in with your hands and knead it until it forms into dough. If it’s sticking to your fingers, add a little more flour. If it’s flaking into pieces, add a little more water. Once you have it at the right consistency cover the bowl with a towel and let it set for 30 minutes.

Next comes the fun part! Break off quarter sized pieces and roll into a ball that fits into your cupped palm.

Place the ball on a floured piece of parchment and press with a fork.

Pull the fork towards you so that the dough rolls and wraps up around the fork, creating a jagged little pocket in the middle of the dough ball. (This is what holds the sauce in the gnocchi)

And voila… you have a gnocchi.

Once you have the entire ball of dough rolled into gnocchis and a big pot of water brought to a boil, dump the gnocchis into the boiling water. Once the gnocchis begin floating in the boiling water, drain them.

The sauce is simple, too. 1/4 cup Oil (whatever kind you prefer) 1/4 cup lemon juice and 5 cloves of garlic. Dump that onto the drained gnocchis, stir and serve!

These are somewhat time consuming, but so delicious and easy to make. It’s great to make when you don’t have time to run to the market because who doesn’t always have flour in the house? Flour and water is all you need! You can use whatever sauce you like or add some cheese. Get creative, they’re really fun and easy to make.

Enjoy!

-Eleanor Roosevelt

Illustration by Me.

Those of you who are close to me already know what’s going on in my life.  The past few months have been difficult.  I’m finally getting answers and now, I want to write everything down.  Release my frustration, my sadness, and the hope that I’m still holding onto. 

My husband, Tom, and I have been trying to conceive since we were married on February 16, 2008.  The first few months of failed attempts were to be expected.  “It takes at least a year for most to conceive the first time,” everyone kept telling us.  ‘Okay,’ I’d tell myself and the next month, when my cycle came, another little piece of me, of my hope was chipped away. 

Finally, in June, my cycle was 3 weeks late.  The home tests were negative, but that was neither here nor there because my mother had to take 3 blood tests before she showed positive of being pregnant with me.  I scheduled a Dr. appt, had more tests done… all negative.  We were told to wait two more weeks, then take another test.  Two days before the two weeks were up my cycle came. 

The part of my hope that came off that month was bigger than before.  I cried for days.  I wondered every night while I tried to fall asleep what was wrong with me.  Everyone told me, “You’re just psyching yourself out, Don’t think about it so much, Stop worrying”… over and over until I wanted to slap everyone that even mentioned my lack of pregnancy having to do with my mental state. 

After that cycle, the day for my next one to come came and went… no period.  I waited 4 weeks this time, still no period.  Two months had passed since my last period when I began to bleed.  It’s been a month and the bleeding continues.  I had enough last week.  I knew something was wrong and it wasn’t in my head.  I requested a sonogram and blood tests from the Dr. with hopes of figuring out what was going on.  A week past and no one called with my test results, so I called them myself.  I got the response that no person really ever wants to hear when asking for test results, “You’ll need to come and speak with Dr. Labella.  She will review your test results with you.  Do you know what PCOS is?”  “No.”  “The Dr. will go over it with you.”

I hung up the phone and began sobbing.  I knew it.  I knew there is something wrong with me and everyone just kept discounting my fears.  I immediately called my mom (I was driving home from work) and she googled PCOS.

My diagnosis is Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome.  Each of my ovaries are completely full of tiny cysts.  As a result, I can’t ovulate.  No wonder we’ve had all these failed attempts.  When I got home I sunk into this abyss of realization and self-pity.  I cried for hours.  I felt useless.  I felt as if my entire existence was without purpose.  If I can’t have children, what good is it being a woman?  I had been trying to come to terms with this idea for the past 7 months… just in case I found out I couldn’t have kids I wanted to make sure I would be okay with it.  I had convinced myself I would, until I heard it for real.  I wasn’t okay.  I want to have children more than anything in the world, to raise a family with my husband, the love of my life, and pass on all the things that my parents taught me. 

I went to see the Dr. 4 days later.  In those four days I really came to resent the med assistant for telling me what it was without any explaination.  Dr. Labella was very optimistic.  She gave me 2 options… to begin taking fertility drugs or to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist for further testing.  The drugs will stimulate ovulation.  Simple as that.  However, there is no cure for PCOS.  There are only treatments to manage it.  We’re still deciding on the best course of action, but I’m so glad to finally have an answer and to be able to move forward. 

So, on top of that, my father-in-law was in the hospital for 3 days last week, my husband had to be rushed to the Dr. with chest pains and difficulty breathing, and I had my wisdom teeth pulled.  It’s just overall been a really really awful few weeks.  I’m hoping that this week to come holds more joy.  It’s been hard to get out of bed and face the day ahead of me.  Tom is wonderful and has been beside me for every step of this.  And if none of this is successful, I will still have the most wonderful life with him, kids or no kids.  It’s just hard to hear that you aren’t perfect, ya know? 

- Henry David Thoreau

Now, to me, EVERYTHING requires new clothes.  Well, maybe not requires, but I certainly use every excuse I can fabricate to buy new clothing.  Shannylee.com’s renovations are underway, not just in appearance, but in content.  Like I said last time, I feel I’ve been holding back on 90% of who I am because I wanted to keep this little place about art only.  PSH!  Yeah, not anymore.  I was feeling suffocated and confined.  Now I know I can get on here and just say whatever I want about whatever I want. 

So more about the clothes…  Now I would be lying if I said that I woke up every morning with butterflies in my stomach at the thought of getting dressed.  Some mornings I wake up wishing I could wear sweatpants and my husband’s Air Force t-shirts with old flip-flops to work, but the better part of me, the self-respecting part of me won’t let me.  I stare into my closet with disdain, wishing my mother had never bred into me my love for clothing, and I conjure up some outfit, ordinary or not, that gives me that little sigh of relief after gazing in the mirror and reflecting on the torment I endured to pick it out.  Then there are my shoes.  I have never dreaded choosing which shoes to wear.  I have quite unhealthy love affair with my shoes.  Whether they be leather ankle boots, gladiator sandals, or peekaboo wedges; I adore them all.  Here is an outfit from this past weekend on a Vespa ride to Soergel’s Orchards.

 

Shirt: Lux
Vest:  Target
Belt:  H&M
Shoes:  Steve Madden
Sunglasses:  Kenneth Cole

And what girl wears just a t-shirt on a Vespa?  I had tights on, too.  Those came off as soon as the ride was over because I loath tights.  LOATH, I tell you.
 
And shopping on Saturday at Southside Worx:

Shirt:  Kenar
Jeans & Scarf:  H&M
Gladiator Sandals:  Coconuts
Purse:  UO

I may not have time to draw/paint/sew everyrday, but I definitely DO get dressed everyday, so I’ll be around here alot more. 

- Andy Warhol

Photo:  by Me… Driftwood - Ohiopyle, PA.

I know I’m quoting Andy Warhol who happens to be one of the people on my least respected human list, but, not all things that come from any one person are negative.  As a result of personal things going on lately, I’ve been thinking alot about time… my time.  I’ve been considering the things I want to accomplish and why they aren’t happening for me.  I think that everyone experiences moments like this in their lifetime… everyone should, at least.  Everyone should come to a point in their life where they re-evaluate and re-direct themselves.  Well, I’m there.  Last night, as depressing as it was, I asked myself, “If I died next week, what things would I be sorry that I didn’t do?”  Then I got really sad from thinking all of that, picked up my sketchbook and doodled away with my new markers. 

It seems that drawing is an instant cure for all my emotional ailments.  Lately, I’ve had myself locked up in my studio with my sketchbook, pens and markers while watching the entire first (and only) season of Moonlight.  (I have an unhealthy obsession with vampires.) 

Speaking of change, though, I’ve decided to take this little blog of mine in a different direction.  There’s only one aspect of my life that I’ve been portraying here and it’s a completely unbalanced view of who I am.  Art is a huge part of me, but not everything.  Fashion is another love of mine.  Decorating, too.  But, I also love the outdoors… backpacking, snowboarding…  I love reading, I love the theater, I love cooking, and I love love love music.  Most of you probably don’t even know that I’ve been classicaly trained on the piano from the age of 7 or that I play the guitar and flute, too.  So, from this moment on, this blog isn’t just about my art.  It’s about me, all of me.  I’ll be doing some re-decorating here soon, as well, to more appropriately represent my style, my taste, my personality.  I’m going to start talking about everything that I love.

To start… I’ve gone a little Etsy crazy lately with ordering prints for my house.   Here are a few of the ones I have ordered so far:::

Waiting By The Sea - My Folk Lover

My Captain… We’ve Reached The End Of The World
Hidenseek

Both of these will be going in my bedroom.  For some reason I have a thing for girls with boats on their heads….!?  I honestly didn’t even realize I had done it until after I ordered them both.  Weird.

Anyway, off to work!  I hope everyone (in the States) had a wonderful holiday weekend.  I definitely did!